Playing Small? 3 Strategies to Build Confidence in Groups

Do you ever find yourself going quiet in groups? 

Sometimes, you might avoid eye contact, hoping the spotlight passes over you. You’ve got ideas, but something holds you back. You stay silent, and before you know it, someone else has voiced the thought you had in your head—and now they're getting the credit.

Or maybe during a meeting, as the conversation flows, you start doubting whether your input is valuable enough. You hesitate, wondering, “Is this really worth sharing?” By the time you muster the courage to speak, the moment has passed, leaving you frustrated and overlooked.

I get it. I’ve been there, too. 

It’s not that you don’t have something valuable to say; it’s like a part of you just shuts down when the moment comes. Maybe you’ve even started to avoid situations where you might be called to speak up, or you find yourself overcompensating to mask your lack of confidence.

The good news? You can change this pattern.

In this blog, you'll learn three strategies to help you feel even more confident in any group setting.

Prefer watching? You can also watch the full video version where I share these three strategies.

Strategy 1: Prepare in Advance

Confidence in groups doesn’t always appear out of nowhere—it can be built through preparation, which happens on two levels: Strategic Preparation and Inner Alignment.

Strategic Preparation

Strategic Preparation is about taking practical steps to feel more prepared and confident.

This could mean familiarizing yourself with the topic and setting specific goals for the interaction.

For example, if you’re preparing for a meeting, you can prepare by researching the subject matter and identifying the key areas where you can add value.

Additionally, setting a clear goal—like contributing one well-thought-out idea or connecting with someone new—gives you focus and direction, helping you feel more in control and ready to engage.

Inner Alignment

While Strategic Preparation lays the groundwork, Inner Alignment is what helps you show up centered and confident. It’s about preparing your mind and energy so you can express yourself with greater ease in the moment.

Before entering a group setting, take a moment to center yourself—focus on your heart, breathe deeply, and visualize yourself engaging confidently and smoothly in the interaction. 

This simple internal preparation helps you regulate your nerves and allow your confidence to emerge naturally and authentically. 

By integrating Strategic Preparation and Inner Alignment, you create a solid foundation that supports an authentic sense of confidence in any group setting.

You can practice Inner Alignment with this 10-minute Inner Confidence Guided Meditation.

Strategy 2: Manage Your Energy in the Moment 

Even with thorough preparation, the moment itself can bring up some nerves. That’s why managing your energy in real time is essential.

Ground Yourself

If you notice anxiety showing up, start by grounding yourself. Take a deep breath, feel your feet firmly on the ground, and imagine roots extending from the soles of your feet into the core of the earth. This practice can help your body feel even more stable.

Acknowledge Your Feelings

Next, acknowledge the emotions you’re experiencing—whether it’s nervousness, excitement, or something else. Sometimes, simply naming what you’re feeling can reduce its intensity.  

Notice where these feelings may show up in your body, whether it’s a tightness in your chest or butterflies in your stomach, and observe them without judgment.

Heart-Focused Breathing

Heart-Focused Breathing is a technique from the Institute of HeartMath. It's simple: focus on your attention in the area of your chest or heart, and imagine your breath flowing in and out of that space. 

This technique helps to calm your mind, reduce stress, and bring you back to the present moment. From this more objective place, you can ask yourself: What’s the best way for me to contribute here? What’s important for me to express? 

Remember, this is a practice, much like learning to ride a bike. It requires dedication, commitment, and patience. With consistent practice, you’ll find your confidence growing, along with your ability to handle group settings with greater ease.

Strategy 3: Shift Your Mindset

Confidence also requires a shift in mindset. It’s about recognizing the value of your voice and understanding that speaking up truly matters. 

Ask Yourself These Questions

I invite you to ask yourself these three questions, which come from one of my mentors, Marshall Goldsmith, one of the world’s top executive coaches:

1. If you became more powerful, would the world be a better place?

I’m willing to bet the answer is a resounding ‘yes’

2. Does speaking up in groups make you uncomfortable?

If the answer is yes, know that you’re not alone. Many people feel the same way.

3. What’s more important to you: making the world a better place or being comfortable?

 This is where the real shift happens. Staying small might feel safe, but it not only limits your potential, it also does a disservice to those around you.

Remember, confidence is a journey. 

By preparing strategically, aligning internally, managing your energy in the moment, and shifting your mindset, you can begin to express your true confidence in any group setting.

Your voice matters. What you have to say matters. 

If you’d like personalized support to help you navigate this journey, I’m here to help. Feel free to contact me to discuss one-on-one coaching and how we can work together to unlock your full potential.

The world needs your unique voice, your light.

You’ve got this. Keep shining.